Thursday, March 15, 2012
Dolly P. Talks About Being An Adult Virgin
When I started my blogging about my virginity, I had just been to a Tyler Perry play at the Fox Theater in Atlanta, GA. I forget the name of the play, and really it’s not important but what is, is that there was a female character who was a virgin and she was the most homely and unfortunate character I could possibly think of.
She stayed around the house, rarely went out. She wore Grandma-style clothes and rompers and her hair was a hot mess. Her character looked old, even though she was supposed to be relatively young. She was constantly admonished for being scared of male interaction and of trying to hide her body and her beauty.
As an obvious virgin myself, I saw not one bit of my personality in this female. And as I thought about it, I realized that most of Hollywood would have the world believe that virgins, especially adult ones are completely socially inadequate. I mean, according to Hollywood, someone would have asked me to have sex by now and I of course would have said “yes.”
The truth is that I have been asked - much to my chagrin, and I said “no", much to Hollywood’s chagrin. I have a feisty personality, I love men, spend most of my time around them because of my work in sports, particularly basketball. I love makeup, looking cute, dancing to some Down South music, but more than anything else, I like knowing that at the end of my day that I had good clean fun and won’t be needing any sort of testing to ensure me of that fact.
I have no false thoughts on what my first time will be like - it’s gonna be awkward and it’s gonna hurt. The Virgin Diaries actually helped cement that thought in my mind. And so I figure if I’m going to go through all of that, the guy had better be worth all of my discomfort. Seriously.
The occasion had better be just as special for him as it is for me on my wedding night. I don’t much care about sex as a recreational activity. Nor is it on my “Bucket List.” I think sex is the ultimate in intimacy and until my heart, head and vagina agree on the same guy, symbolized by a ring on my finger, I can do without.
Some have wanted to make me into some kind of Saint because of my choice to remain a virgin but that’s not true. I have plenty of other problems that help me to remain stuck on my decision. Like, my highly addictive personality. It wouldn’t take much, especially since my vagina is directly linked to my heart. I could become obsessed with a one-night stand. Since that type of behavior is totally unnecessary, another point gets logged for staying a virgin. Then there’s my abhorrence to drama, which lies directly in the path of casual sex. I can’t have one without the other so staying a virgin gets another point. Lastly, there’s my fear of my own loss of respect. I love me the way I am, to do otherwise would be a compromise, no matter how I tried to spin it.
Maybe this means that in reality I really am actually socially inadequate, but I’m not convinced….lol.
Read Dolly's review of The Virgin Diaries