Grace - 14 Talks About Sex, Virginity And The Virgin Diaries

Grace is a 14 year-old. She recently read The Virgin Diaries. Here's her take on sex, abstinence and virginity.

Grace's Blog: wordslikesilver.com

I recently wrote an article on sex in young adult fiction and how it impacts me and other readers. (Read Article) People don't usually look to a fourteen year old to talk about these things. Some encourage hearing my thoughts while others think that I'm growing up too fast. I'm not; I just choose to have my voice heard, because while a ton of adults worry about how we'll react to it, we worry about peer pressure or first times and wonder what it's like and all the things associated with it.

The first time I heard about sex was actually from an older friend. At the time, she was probably in sixth grade and asked whether I knew how babies were born. I was only in fourth grade, and I didn't. She explained the concept to me using really basic terminology and not explaining it very well, but I got the gist of it.

A year later, my parents took my twin and I to a health class at our church, while we sat there cringing awkwardly while we watched a low-budget movie about puberty and sex. I was with a few friends and we sat there making faces at the screen and griping about how we were forced to go to this class. We thought that sex was disgusting and we certainly had no thought of ever doing it.

Starting in sixth grade, we had health class, which included our school nurse talking about sex, teenage pregnancy, consequences, and of course, her personal favorite, the scarring STD-slideshow, which meant that all the sixth graders cried out in horror "My eyes! My eyes!" while disgusting pictures of STDs inside the body flashed on the screen.

Now in eighth grade I'm hearing all these stories about other people both my age and older, and a few even younger. I go to a private Christian school which means that nobody here has "lost it" but we hear about people who have graduated or people at other schools who have done it already. We pore over Facebook statuses of "hacked" profiles saying things like "Sarah likes it hot" and "lms if you like sex" and things like that. Pictures of girls and guys making out, pictures of girls with clearly visible bras. Just last week, we heard that a girl my age was caught having sex in a bathroom at one of the middle schools.

I remember the first time hearing about a girl doing awful things and being like "but she goes to bible study!" when the youth director had just talked with us about purity. Sex is everywhere and adults don't like to talk about it with us, which means that some of us get our knowledge from books. The Virgin Diaries is perfect for any questions, and it's also an entertaining and thoughtful read!

Sex is everywhere in the media. In movies, there will either be a chaste relationship, or James-Bond style where it's a string of one night stands. Some of this media is encouraging and honest while some are almost like propaganda, telling us to believe this or believe that.

In books, I think that it's more realistic. While in a movie, it's straightforward and you can't see what is going through the character's heads. In a book, you see what's leading up to it, the actual act, and the impacts. When you're put into a character's head like you are in books you can put yourself in their place more easily.

Different books handle it differently; I, personally, am a fan of how Stephanie Meyer handled it in Breaking Dawn, skipping ahead to the next morning and not making it too graphic for younger teens to read while still being romantic. My personal opinion is that a more descriptive sex scene (for young adult, not compared to adult books, which can be more graphic) only works if it is in a book with a focus on sex, like Kiss It or Lost It or anything similar to that. Of course, The Virgin Diaries is a bit descriptive but that's only because it has a need to be. Teenagers like me look to these sorts of books to answer or questions and help us make decisions about our boundaries.

I've been told by people that my views may change if I get a boyfriend, or when I go to high school, but I don't really believe this. It's because of The Virgin Diaries and similar books that I've made an informed decision about abstinence and know about the feelings surrounding it, even though reading about it and experiencing pressure and situations are two extremely different things.

As I do enter high school in the fall, I've been worried that I might go too far and regret it but because of books, my faith, and the people I surround myself with, I think that I have the courage and strength to stick to my decision. Sex is different for everyone. I don't think anything bad about anybody who has sex as a teenager, although it isn't my personal choice. If you make an informed decision and are aware of the consequences and risks, then only you can make your choice.

Sometimes I go out of my way to read a younger book just to escape from the sexual tension that constantly pops up in books. One of the problems that I run into with books focused on sex is sometimes we don't get to hear about anything else. In books, sometimes it goes to one extreme or the other: chaste or extremely risque.

I know that as I grow my decisions may change. I know that my parents will support my decisions and I know that I won't steer from my views on abstinence because the guilt if I did would haunt me. It's my personal belief, and nobody else has to think the same way that I do.

However a lot of the reasons why we read books like these are because we're curious. We don't know what it's like or how it will impact us. Granted, we still don't know by reading this, but it shows us the good and bad of it, and gives us an idea of what it means to "do it."

The Virgin Diaries was a huge help, just for somebody who is curious what sex really means, physically and emotionally. 

It's definitely tough talking about sex because there's a lot of confusion and mixed feelings regarding it, and everybody seems to have a different perception of it. What I know is from health class and young adult books.

It's no secret that teens are having sex and while I don't think that that's a good decision with your life ahead of you, I don't agree with people who judge others like that harshly. I have my own opinion and since sex is personal, it irritates me when people try to force their opinion of it on others who maybe have made choices that they regret or are completely comfortable with their lifestyle.

It honestly depends on the person, but since The Virgin Diaries has a completely diverse collection of stories, it appeals to everybody. It's beneficial to help with curiosity and it appeals to both adults and teens. Whether you're a virgin or not, this book is definitely helpful and entertaining.

If You Kiss A girl On The Vagina, She'll Love You Forever

In my book The Virgin Diaries, one of the questions posed was "What kinds of advice/rumors did you hear about sex from your friends when you were a virgin?"

I have also just posted this question to my Facebook page to see what answers it gets. I will post some of them but first I will tell you why.

During a family dinner when my younger brother was about four or five years old, he asked my step mom a question. He said: "Mom, I heard from my friend Danny's brother that if you kiss a girl on the vagina, she'll love you forever. Is that true?" You can imagine the surprised look on everyone's faces. It was very difficult not to laugh and even my step mom, who tried to answer him honestly had a hard time. Her response was something like  "Well...that's not completely untrue..." and we all finally laughed. I'm sure my step mom talked more in detail to my brother about this in a more private setting but I don't know what she told him. This is one of my favorite stories and I hope my brother doesn't kill me now.

When my sister was about the same age, I was taking care of her while she suffered a cold. I made her chicken soup and tucked into her bed making sure she got lot's of TLC. She was overwhelmed with love and pulled me in close to her face and said "Let's fall in love..." and tried to kiss me passionately. I reacted very calmly and explained that sisters don't fall in love. I didn't want to make her feel like what she had done was wrong and embarrass her. Again, it's a funny visual but it illustrates an important point.

When we are very young, we are aware of sex and love and don't always realize there is a difference between the two. I imagine my sister saw passionate kissing in films and TV and saw the love between my dad and step mom. She was curious and wanted to understand what it meant. My brother heard this rumor from his buddy's older brother, he also had interest and wanted to know if what he heard was true. He was too young to understand that what he said at a family dinner was inappropriate. The fact is, he wasn't being inappropriate. He was young and had questions. Now, I'm not sure what he was planning to do with this information and really don't want to know but he was curious.

I grew up as a teen in the 80's. I remember how it was. By the time I was 14, my BFF had already had sex. I was not ready at that point but I wanted to understand what all the fuss was about. It's all around us and sometimes we hear things that are ridiculous and completely untrue. If we don't have the facts, we might believe some of the rumors and as a result, make the wrong choice or one we wind up regretting. Often times, parents are too embarrassed by the subject and don't talk to their kids about sex at all in the hopes that by ignoring it, it will never be an issue.

Here are some of the responses from the book and the Facebook comments from my post:


"I was told that both of the sexual partners had to have an orgasm at the same time in order to get pregnant. This is obviously not true and could explain why I became a teenage parent." Female

"My friend Frank, however, told me that he saw his parents doing it and I should hug her tight and scream in her ear and she will scream back." Male

"The advice I got from my parents was that if you have sex, you get pregnant. I had only one friend who was not a virgin at the time and made it sound like it was fun and exciting - why wait if you have someone who cares for you and this also will cure the curiousity." Female

"The only rumor I heard was that if you thought you might be pregnant you could shake up a bottle of cola and insert it and that might abort a baby." Female

"Using Norforms before having sex will prevent you from getting pregnant. If that is true, it is only because it will set him on fire and he won't have a chance to get the girl pregnant. ;D" Female

***Norforms are deodorant suppositories.

"My older neighbor told me that if you swallow a watermelon seed it grew into pregnancy...Girl, I didn't eat watermelon for years." Female

"The use of tampons causes virginity loss." Female

"I attended Catholic school for twelve years. That very much shaped my attitude. Sex was for procreation and only procreation. Any type of contraception was sinful and masturbation was sinful as well." Female

"...earwax would make a woman's vagina burn if she had Venereal Disease and that you should always check..." Male

"...sex is for couples who are in love. I believe a lot of teens hear this one and it's the reason for the confusion in that sex IS love." (This is not "wrong" but is a good point).

"...if you have sex on your period, you can't get pregnant." Female and 100% NOT TRUE!!!!!

"... . How about what the Catholic church drilled into my mind about masturbation. If I did it I'd go straight to hell, I'd go blind, and my hands would get deformed. Not to mention, according to their teachings, I was killing babies. Actually scared the hell outta me." Male

"If a boy didn't pee inside of you during sex, you wouldn't get pregnant." Female

"...if you lay down with a boy, you could get pregnant." Female

"All I heard from friends is that once you started, you'd be addicted." Male.

These are some pretty wild statements. I guess if you're a teen reading this you might know these are ridiculous. But again, I share these with you to show that there is a lot of misinformation floating around.

It's always better to be informed.

Love-A-Thon Y. A. Event Hosted by Katelyn Torrey

Hello to all the bloggers!!!

I am so excited to take part in the LoveAthon and looking forward to meeting new people!

I would like to thank each and every book blogger out there. You guys are changing the industry in a positive way. You benefit readers by introducing them to new books. You benefit authors by giving them your time, honest reviews and a platform to showcase their work. Your passion and dedication astounds me. I know many of the Y.A. book bloggers have very busy schedules with school, work, friends and life but you make and take the time to work on a labor of love!

This blog is a bit different that most participating in this event. I am the author of The Virgin Diaries. My mother Ann Werner and I created the book together as a way to help virgins with questions, get a better understanding of what to expect emotionally where first time sex is concerned. This blog is an offshoot of TVD and is a place for teens and virgins of all ages to create a dialogue about sex in a way that is comfortable and informative with no judgement. The collection of posts collected on this blog may result in a book. Your contribution is welcome. My email is on the top left of the page. It went live in January 2012 and below I've listed links to a few of the posts.

A special thank you to Katelyn Torrey (@KatelynTorrey) for hosting this event!!! Stop by her Twitter page to find out more about the event and all that are participating. And thank you for stopping by! :)

Kimberley A. Johnson

Like The Virgin Diaries Facebook page

The Virgin Diaries: Review Katelyn by Torrey

Jude Henderson on Virginity & Sex For The Wrong Reason

When I Lost My Virginity by Kimberley Johnson

Sex: Myth vs. Fact

Teens Talk About Sex And The Virgin Diaries  - Youtube with three 15 y/o girls.

Twitter:

@AuthorKimberley

@MsWerner

Love-A-Thon YA Book Blogger Event!

YA Book Blogger Katelyn Torrey is hosting a Blog-A-Thon set for tomorrow, 2/17/12.

Sign up and join the fun!  Details

"What: A Blogger Love-A-Thon! This will be a day full of commenting on blogs, following blogs, tweeting about blogs, thanking blogs, sharing the word about awesome blogs, telling another blogger how freaking awesome they are, the list goes on and on. Basically it will consist of fun posts, mini challenges, lots of commenting, and perhaps a giveaway or two! I do not have a full schedule completely detailed out yet but I will be e-mailing it to everyone who hopes to participate. Since I am a simple person and like to keep things that way, it will most likely be a fairly easy-to-follow schedule!"

Teens Talk About Sex And The Virgin Diaries

Three fifteen year-old girls who all read The Virgin Diaries share their thoughts on the book, abstinence and sex in general.

Sex: Myth vs. Fact

When I was a teen, I heard rumors about sex that weren't true. There were things that I wasn't aware of either. I'm posting some facts for teens and virgins so that when you start thinking about having sex, you'll be armed with some good information.

In the book The Virgin Diaries, a seventy-seven year-old women shared her story. She was fifteen when she lost her virginity. She heard that if you thought you might be pregnant, you could shake up a bottle of cola and insert it and that might abort a baby. This is simply ridiculous and completely untrue. It seems pretty obvious but when we are not informed, sometimes, we believe these kinds of things.

Condoms are pretty reliable in preventing pregnancy but not 100%. They can come off during sex. There can be a tiny hole that can't been seen with the naked eye. Semen can pass through. Using condoms won't guarantee that you are preventing sexually transmitted infections either. You can use a condom and still get herpes and genital warts because these STIs can live in the areas surrounding our genitals. YUCK!

The "pull-out" method is one of the worst myths to believe. It means the male pulls his penis out before he ejaculates. The myth is, that if this is done, a female won't get pregnant. The truth is, when a male is inside of a female, semen does leak out. Many women have become pregnant this way. It is absolutely NOT a way to prevent pregnancy.

There is also the rhythm method.  There are times during a woman's cycle (during ovulation) when she is more likely to become pregnant.  It's usually about two weeks after the first day of her period. Ovulation occurs when a mature egg is released from the ovary, pushed down the fallopian tube, and is available to be fertilized. The lining of the uterus has thickened to prepare for a fertilized egg. If no conception occurs, the uterine lining as well as blood will be shed. The shedding of an unfertilized egg and the uterine wall is the time of menstruation.


Fertilization periods vary with each woman. This is a better way to try to plan on becoming pregnant because the truth is even when we are not in our "fertile time frame" we can still become pregnant.  After unprotected intercourse, sperm can sustain its reproductive viability for several days – if it makes it up as far as the cervix.


Keep in mind that when you have sex, you open yourself up to the possibility of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. The only way to avoid this is by abstaining. Understanding the facts about sex will help you make an informed decision when the time is right for you.

The Virgin Diaries: Review by Eighteen Year-Old Katelyn Torrey

Last fall, Katelyn Torrey gave The Virgin Diaries a glowing and very eloquent review.

Here's the link to her blog. Kate's Tales Of Books AND Bands

She primarily reviews Young Adult. She's very smart and for those of you YA book bloggers, on February 17, 2012, she's hosting a Love-A-Thon. Details & Sign Up Here

My blog is a Young Adult book blog. Every now and then I may stumble into the “adult” world with an Adult/Young Adult crossover book but that doesn’t occur often. Something that happens even less often than that would be me testing the waters of educational books. I read the required material for my classes but I hardly go out looking for educational books for fun. However, when a review request came along for this book, I instantly said yes. This book is the real life, true accounts of many people’s first time experience with sex. If TV and media teaches us anything, it is that sex is a wonderful, passionate, experience that is highly enjoyable for both partners ESPECIALLY if it is their first time ever doing it. *Laughs at the craziness of that whole last statement* This book breaks through the image that Hollywood has imprinted in the minds of today’s teenagers. This book allows us to feel and understand exactly what people went through during their first sexual encounter. Now before you all get embarrassed (for yourself or for me) please let me explain that this book is in no way pornographic and it stays relatively clean considering the subject matter. The people who volunteered their stories were asked a series of questions. “What age were you during your first encounter?”, “Did you have any advice from parental or religious figures?”, and “Is there any advice you would give to virgins?”were a few of the many wonderful questions that were asked. Their answers to these questions were compiled and edited to create The Virgin Diaries.

 

Okay now that you know what this book is about and exactly how it is different than any other book I have read, I will try and review it to the best of my ability. Since these are peoples’ initial responses to questions they were asked and it is their own personal experiences that they so bravely shared with the general public, I will not be judging their individual stories. Instead, I will be talking about the importance of this book.

 

I come from a very open family. We say what is on our mind and us kids know that we can talk to our parents freely about anything including sex. I am very aware that this is not the case for many others and that fact alone is made even more prominent after reading this book. I read through SEVENTY-TWO stories that people shared. Out of those 72 people, how many of them do you think had an open relationship with their parent about sex? You may or may not be shocked by the answer but it is close to none. They often times didn’t get advice from parents or adult figures, no knowledge was shared on the topic, and birth control was not something that was ever talked about. I find this whole idea just absolutely ludicrous! How could parents allow their kids to be so ignorant on such important matters such as STD’s and pregnancy? For the people in this book that had no advice from adult figures, I am deeply saddened that they did not have a book like this available for them to utilize.

 

Some stories included in The Virgin Diaries have happy endings; some of them were awkward and embarrassing. Other stories broke my heart, while others made me squirm a bit. However, I still feel that this book could be a very important tool for parents to use when talking to their kids about sex. I am well aware that EVERYONE’S parenting style is different and I truly do not mean to offend any parents that are reading this but come on! You have to talk to your teenagers!!! You can’t just throw them a box of condoms, tell them that abstinence is best and then expect everything to turn out hunky-dory. Us teenagers are confused, interested, and curious by nature. We don’t always use our head and we sometimes need parental guidance whether we want to admit it or not. This is exactly why I feel that books like The Virgin Diaries are printed. It is so parents can use it to help ease them into what is sure to be the most awkward conversation of their life. Reading other people’s first-hand encounters allows you to think about what happens emotionally and physically. The questions that were asked and everyone’s responses allowed us to see the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of sex. While not all first time encounters are unbearable, we do learn that losing one’s virginity is not all satin bed sheets and roses and that is something a “birds and the bees” type of conversation just wont cover.

 

I know that this is a bit of an unconventional review but there was just no other way of putting it. This book and the subject it covers is just entirely too important to shove aside. Would I hand this book out to every random, young teen on the street? Heck no! Some people have the maturity level of a 5-year-old. Would I give this book to parents of teenagers? Yes. A million times yes. I would give it to them to read alone, with their child, or at least allow them to use it as a tool to start talking to their kids about sex.

When I Lost My Virginity by Kimberley Johnson

I'm going to divulge some personal information about my first time.

In my book, The Virgin Diaries, I shared my story but like all the others, it's anonymous. I am not going to repeat the entire story here but will focus on why I chose to do it and how I felt afterward.

The Virgin Diaries focuses on the emotional aspect of what it feels like to have sex for the first time. Most of us know the mechanics but the big mystery lies in the unknown. Does it hurt? What goes on through one's mind? Are there regrets?

When I was 16, I had a boyfriend. I'll call him Dave. We lived about thirty miles away from each other. He had a car and I didn't (because of this, he had the control on when we could see each other). He attended school with my best girlfriend and she gave me the inside scoop on his life. Dave had another girlfriend who I'll call Mary. I knew about Mary and I believe she knew about me. But Dave had charisma and clearly we both put up with him.

I thought I was in love with him. He fascinated me. He was a "Death Rocker."  Now he would be described as "Goth." He wasn't very attractive, a little overweight and his clothes were terrible. Despite his appearance, he was gentle, not a fighter. Not dangerous. More a thinker. He wrote underground papers against the "establishment." He had (and still has) an eloquent way of putting words together. He was also as tall as I was (6 feet). I was taller than most of the boys I knew. His height was a big plus. The picture I included above is just around the time of this story. Dig my hair (cringe). The the dark haired girl is the best friend I mention. It was taken in 1985.

Dave was 18 and I was 16. Officially and legally, sex between two people of these ages is considered statutory rape. This is what the law dictates. But Dave didn't rape me. It was my choice to lose my virginity with him. An adult who read TVD made a comment about this very point and asked me why I didn't comment on it.  I really didn't want any commentary in the book. I chose to only provide readers with the stories. TVD doesn't advocate sex nor does it advocate against having it. There were other stories in the book where the male was underage and the female was in her 20's or older. The truth is that many younger people who have sex fall into this category. My mother knew Dave's age and a month or so after I lost my virginity with him, I told her about it. She wasn't surprised and she wasn't angry. Please keep in mind, this is my story, my experience.
 
Back to my story. I was so into Dave and wanted him to choose me. I knew I was better looking than Mary and my immature mind thought that if I gave him what she was giving him (sex), he would choose to only be with me. Yes, I realize how stupid and vain that sounds but it was how I saw things at that time.

I told him I wanted to go all the way. The first time we tried, it just didn't happen. To be blunt, it didn't go in. I was not aware this could happen and was surprised. I remember us trying several times but it never happened.  A month or so later, I decided to try again. This time it worked and it HURT!!! A LOT!! I knew about the hymen and expected the pain but really, it was awful. There was absolutely NO PLEASURE. The scene was not romantic. Nothing about my first time was romantic. Overall, it was pretty bad. Pain and no fun.

Afterward, I felt no regret. I was glad to have finally crossed over into the world that all my girlfriends had known and told me about. I knew sex didn't hurt every time, so I wasn't put off by the pain. But most importantly, I was now convinced that I would be loved more and that Dave would choose to be monogamous with me.

Guess what??? NOT THE CASE! Dave now got to enjoy sex with both of his girlfriends. We broke up within weeks. I cried and cried and though I still didn't regret my decision, I will say that if I had waited and lost it with someone who valued me more, my experience would have probably been better. But I don't believe that how I lost it colored my opinion about sex in a negative way. Dave was an ass, in my opinion, but that was more about his character. I expected something and that was my mistake.

Parents, educators and religious figures will tell you what you should do but in the end, it's your choice. Whether you choose abstinence or not, sex is up to you. It's important that you understand it's not going to make anyone love you more or less in most cases. It can deepen love that already exits but it won't create it. It certainly isn't a bargaining chip. I learned that the hard way. It was hard for me because I wanted Dave to love me only. I thought sex would be the answer. It wasn't.

For me, it wasn't earth shattering. My life didn't change dramatically. But it was a pivotal experience, as it is for most (including males). I will not give advice other than to really think about what you want for yourself.

While it was happening, I don't remember thinking anything other than how much it hurt. My grandmother always believed that women have the more difficult time when it comes to sex. That we are more emotional and can get hurt more than a male can. I don't entirely agree with her but for the most part, she is correct. Females want the love. Males don't always have to have  it (OK, some females don't either) but to be general, the girls are very emotional and when we give our bodies to someone, it really means a lot, no matter if it's your first time or when you're an adult.

---

Kimberley A. Johnson (BIO) – A.K.A. The Anti Coulter is the author of The Virgin Diaries and an activist for women’s rights. Like her on Facebook, Twitter or friend her on FB HERE.

Jude Henderson on Virginity & Sex For The Wrong Reason

Jude Henderson

18 - College Freshman

Twitter

Goodreads

Jude's Blog - In Between Writing and Reading

Jude Henderson reviewed The Virgin Diaries last year.  Read Review. I asked her if she would like to contribute a post for this new bog and happily she said yes. I let her know the focus was on sex, teens, virgins and I also asked her to mention TVD and how it relates to her situation. Here's what she had to say:

Sex. It is an easy word that can turn out to be really complicated thing. Even though we live in a ‘modern’ world we still see it as a huge taboo, a Big No-No, and yet sex is everywhere. 

I remember a slumber party when I was twelve, all a bunch of girls. We all thought we knew all about sex and someone came up with the idea to watch porn for the first time. We knew nothing. I remember everyone being like “WHAT the HECK is THAT!!!” and then the screaming: “Turn it OFF!!!!!!!” I still laugh hysterically just remembering, I mean, that was SHOCKING! Nobody had ever bothered to actually tell us what sex was and what you did, not even our parents (and I’m thankful for it). I never had one of those really formal sex talks and I am so so thankful!  Many people are like “You gotta be open with your parents” Hell no! No way in Hell! Nu-uh. I mean, yeah, the occasional ‘be safe’ advice is OK, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to really talk with my mother about sex. Ever.

Back to the point. After that we all went back to being kids. Later after a few years, now in high school, everyone started with the "Did you hear that she already did it?” Everyone was talking about who had done it and who hadn’t and we still didn’t fully understand what it was. Then the pressure started and I was a teen with really low self-esteem. I was having random hookups at parties and dressing a certain way, listening to certain music and I basically became a wild child just to fit in with people that weren’t really my friends. Until the day I did it with a drunken guy whose name I don’t remember and I never saw again, at a party. BIG MISTAKE. A week later I had a fight with my friends and I realized what I had done. It was like a huge slap of reality. I had sex with someone just to fit in and sex had no real meaning. I was crushed.

Years passed and I just thought of sex as something stupid and meaningless. I had long ago stopped trying to fit in and being a wild kid. I was the best version of me I could be. That’s when I read The Virgin Diaries. I thought it would be an interesting read, though with no real use for me since I was not a virgin.  I am so thankful for having the opportunity to read it. There were stories in there of people where had been in similar situations like me. They had sex for all the wrong reasons. I was not alone. But most importantly, we all have our doubts, we don’t all come into this world and know all about sex, not everyone has the perfect first time like they do in the movies. We’re all a little bit scared. And there will always be someone that had a worse first time than you.

I made a mistake. But I wasn’t a bad person because of it. I wasn’t doomed. We all hear that we need to save ourselves for marriage, or that sex is bad and never to be spoken of, or that the first time you have sex must always be perfect, that you have to wait, that you have to do it soon, that you have to do it right, etc. I believed all of this. This book was the only thing that actually bothered to tell me what the real deal was, and that my situation, that everyone’s situation is fine.

“It shows that we are all human and therefore all connected.”
~ The Virgin Diaries

There's this song that I love that says: Use your God given tools. Sex Rules. I pity the fools who realize too late. Love, sex and God are great.

~ Sex Rules by Sky Ferreira

I never EVER thought I would be able to see Sex and God in the same sentence. And there they are. My current Anthem.

Sex is a gift. Just use it wisely

If I could go back and give myself some advice? Be Smart. Think. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If they are the right reasons, go for it. If not, then don't. This goes to everyone. Don't be fools. Be smart.

Virgin or not, I seriously think The Virgin Diaries is a must read and that Sex Rules by Sky Ferreira is a must listen (hehe).

If you want to save yourself for marriage, that's fine. If you want to have sex before marriage, that's fine too.

Having sex won't make you a bad person or a sinner. It also won't make you 'cooler.' But it can make you a fool. Sex can be one of the most beautiful things but it can also hurt you.

If you are interested in contributing to this blog, email Kimberley:  nsots68@gmail.com.



At What Age Should Someone Become Sexually Active?

In the book The Virgin Diaries, the youngest to report having sex for the first time was a 12 year-old female.
The oldest was a 32 year-old male.

Anthony Tarquinto is 42 and still hasn't done the deed.

What is a good age and why?
And is oral sex considered sex?

Virginity is a hot topic. There are many different opinions out there. What's yours?